Wow, Reality Check X2

So, I've been compiling my volunteer hours for the months of July, August, and September to be nominated for volunteer of the quarter for the base (at the request of a Colonel, not just because I think I'm the greatest person ever or something) and drum roll please ...
I volunteered 169 hours of my time during those three months, two of which Chris was technically deployed for.
I've been wondering why I've been so tired and I can't seem to get back to the pace I use to be at... it's because the pace I was at is insane. That's almost two hours a day of volunteering while taking care of David. Yuck. I mean, don't get me wrong. I can't look at the list of things that I got to help do and say "oh, I wish I hadn't done that" or "well, I should have said no to that" but I think I'll need to do so in the future. I'm going to go schedule some relaxing time on my planner...
Chris leaves the Fort he's been at tomorrow to get to another part of the country to await departure for the Middle East later on this weekend. Once he leaves it will be unlikely that I'll have any contact with him for at least two weeks. I think we are both dreading this. We've been able to speak by phone everyday since he left in September. It's a whole different deployment when I can't talk to him or involve him in our everyday life and affairs. I'm reliving all the days of hurt and anguish that led to this deployment all over again, trying to make peace with why this happened to us...